List of loves
Ez 18:25-28; Ps 25:4-5, 6-7, 8-9; Phil 2:1-11; Mt 21:28-32
Imagine drawing up a list of all the loves in your life. It’s likely that there would be a range in intensity, length of time and nature of the relationships. Maybe you love your dog, your sibling, your grandmother, your spouse, your child, your colleague and so forth.
Now look over your list and rank those loves in terms of the degree to which each one is selfless, that is, not manipulative or self-focused but open to mutual trust and self-sacrifice on behalf of the other.
If we’re honest with ourselves, we know we’re not beyond selfishness or manipulation, at times, even in our most endearing relationships.
This matter is worth pondering because it reflects upon the core instruction that Jesus leaves his disciples: “I give you a new commandment: Love one another. As I have loved you, so you also should love one another” (Jn 13:34). This begs the question: How have you loved us, Jesus? His reply: “No one has greater love than this, to lay down one’s life for one’s friends” (Jn 15:13).
Thus, the degree to which we love self-sacrificially is the degree to which we can participate in Jesus’ own life and mission. That concept of “participation” is critical because that is all we can do in the spiritual life — we share in Jesus’ life, we don’t reproduce it ourselves.
Paul is keenly aware of this process as he addresses the church in Philippi in our second reading this Sunday: “If there is any encouragement in Christ, any solace in love, any participation in the Spirit … [h]ave in you the same attitude that is also in Christ Jesus.” If we want to participate in Jesus’ spirit, then we must adopt his same attitude.
Paul then proceeds to tell us in powerful words just what that attitude is. Scripture scholars generally believe he is quoting an early Christian hymn that highlights Jesus’ life and mission.
In discussing the hymn, it’s important to notice what is not mentioned. There is nothing said about Jesus’ miracles, his preaching or even his resurrection from the dead. One might expect that these would have a place in one of the earliest hymns composed about the life of Jesus.
But in fact, the hymn focuses entirely on one aspect: Jesus’ great humility and his absolute trust in the Father. This is what impressed the early Christians beyond anything else: that the one who was in the form of their God who had created the entire world, would choose to take on all the weaknesses and vulnerabilities that human beings possess. Taking even the form of a slave.
He could have tried to leverage, or “grasp” at, all the power that was accessible to him, but he did not. In this he was faithful to his Father’s will, which was that we should be able to relate so closely to him that we would not feel utterly abandoned or defeated by the suffering in our own lives. Just as the Father “exalted” Jesus, so might we be exalted and encouraged by the Father’s love.
Note that the Gospel parable closely aligns with this sentiment. The first son begins with a selfish heart with respect to his father’s wishes, but then his heart undergoes a change. We are not told how or why this change comes about, but we can probably all relate to similar experiences in our own lives.
Selfishness does not resonate with authentic love, and if it tries to enter into such a loving relationship, it will cause a harshness and ultimately a sadness for the pain we have inflicted on the other.
But we shouldn’t be naive. To practice self-sacrificial love can be extremely difficult and is not always reciprocated or appreciated by the beloved. Here, the grace of Christ’s Spirit can supply what we lack, which is precisely why Paul so often exhorts us to appeal to the Holy Spirit.
So look again at your list of loves. Wherever you see the grip of selfishness or the fear of practicing self-sacrifice, place your focus in prayer there and exert renewed effort to break selfishness’ strangling grasp. Love that shares in the love of Christ is meant to breathe freely.