‘That’s not OK’
Ez 33:7-9; Ps 95:1-2, 6-7, 8-9; Rom 13:8-10; Mt 18:15-20
“That’s not OK.” This seems to be the phrase of choice these days when someone wants to call out bad behavior. I’m struck by how incredibly tame that language is when applied to what are often quite heinous acts. Actions that would once have been considered unconscionable now barely get a mention in the news.
One of my first politically conscious moments as a child was watching President Richard Nixon resign as president in 1974. The nation was fixated on what was transpiring and its impact on the republic.
What was his offense? Basically, spying on his political opponents and seeking to steal the upcoming presidential election. Were laws broken? Yes. Was it highly immoral and unethical? Undeniably. Was “redacted” information mysteriously missing from tapes of bugged conversations seen as damning evidence? Definitely.
Yet, it is almost laughable by today’s ethical standards to imagine that such actions would lead to people losing their jobs, let alone going to jail or resigning an office at the highest level.
Today, we find convicted criminals who have not been brought to justice serving in public office along with persons on both sides of the aisle who have demonstrably immoral behavior in their recent past — ranging from misogyny to racism to domestic and political violence — and for which they have suffered no consequences.
We have developed a culture in which we either turn a blind eye to what ought to be highly objectionable behavior, or we notice the behaviors but have convinced ourselves that they are minor infractions. Even if there are criminal convictions, there is always a hope, if not an expectation, that the convicted perpetrators will be awarded a blanket pardon for their crimes.
As a nation, we have seemingly come to the point where such an environment is an acceptable status quo. That’s not OK. So how did we get here?
I’m reminded that at the seminary, we rely on a principle known as “fraternal correction.” Inspired by today’s Gospel, it means that if one seminarian notices another behaving improperly, he ought to privately approach him and point out that his actions are not acceptable or appropriate.
It’s not simply a matter of calling a man out on his behavior. It should be accompanied by an offer to help, which might mean an honest conversation or perhaps a referral to a support group or counseling.
If the attempt at fraternal correction is rejected, then the seminarian ought to inform the faculty for follow-up. In the rare instance that a seminarian is resistant to faculty intervention, then he is not free enough to receive the truth and will need to withdraw from the community until he can be more honest in his self-understanding.
That is how the system is ideally designed to function. In reality, it often proves difficult for seminarians to practice fraternal correction. Nobody wants to be the person who got a brother seminarian “kicked out” of the seminary. It feels like an unbearable burden to shoulder that kind of responsibility.
The result is that bad behavior might be observed, but it is rarely directly addressed as a student-to-student matter, and it is even less likely that it would be brought forth to the faculty for evaluation.
As you consider Jesus’ exhortation to the disciples about how to handle justice among themselves, ask yourself how well you are doing with engaging others’ bad behavior. If you are reluctant to offer fraternal correction, is it because you don’t want to get another person in trouble? Is it because you feel hypocritical given your own shortcomings? Is it a fear of reprisal?
Whatever the reason, I encourage you to pray for the grace of humility: Practicing fraternal correction does not require that we be without faults ourselves. In fact, by compassionately offering correction to others, we become more willing to accept it in our own hearts.
The love of God comes to us not despite our failings but directly through them. We need the perceptions of others to help us see God’s presence and feel God’s desire. And that’s OK.