How do you see me?
Is 22:19-23; Ps 138:1-2, 2-3, 6, 8; Rom 11:33-36; Mt 16:13-20
Before reading any further, please take a moment to look at next Sunday’s Gospel (Mt 16: 21-27) because that passage should be taken together with today’s reading.
Now imagine that you are at a gathering hosted by your employer. At some point in the afternoon, your closest work colleague turns to you and asks, “So what are they saying about me around the office?”
As you try to recall the various opinions circulating around the water cooler, it’s likely that you are also silently thinking about yourself, “Are they saying the same things about me? Do I have those same faults or strengths?” and so forth.
Jesus is no fool. He knows that when he poses his famous question to the disciples (“Who do people say that the Son of Man is?”) in today’s Gospel, he’s not only inviting them to think about how he is perceived, but also subtly drawing them in to ponder how they see themselves, and perhaps even to think about how Jesus perceives them.
As Peter confidently identifies Jesus as the Messiah, we should consider what his answer means for his own self-perception. By this point in the Gospel, we have come to see Peter as Jesus’ “wingman,” the one who takes charge and makes sure things run smoothly for the disciples. If Jesus were the Messiah, Israel’s new Davidic king, then he would be there at Jesus’ side in the kingdom, doing his best to help Jesus succeed.
Jesus’ response to Peter would seemingly only solidify this perception. Jesus tells him that he has received a special revelation from the Father, that he is to become the rock of Jesus’ church on earth, and that he holds the “keys to the kingdom of heaven.” These pronouncements should help Peter see himself as Jesus sees him.
But to gauge how accurate Peter’s self-image is, we must jump ahead to next Sunday’s Gospel. There we see Jesus further revealing his own identity by describing what kind of Messiah he will be: one who is rejected and killed.
Consider this prediction from Peter’s perspective. If Jesus expects to be treated so poorly, what does that imply about his opinion of Peter? Does he think that Peter will either allow this to happen to him or that he will have been neutralized by Jesus’ enemies — some wingman! Does Jesus lack confidence in Peter’s ability or in his commitment?
In the face of such questions, compounded by the shock of imagining Jesus’ violent death, Peter vehemently rejects Jesus’ predictions (Mt 16:22). In doing so, he reveals the fragility of the self-confidence that Jesus instilled in him with his strong affirmations at Caesarea Philippi. If he really saw himself as Jesus’ “rock,” who had received special revelations from the Father, then he ought to have been able to receive Jesus’ words, even if they were difficult to hear. Peter’s roller coaster of emotions speaks to the very core of his vocation and identity.
There are few things more precious to us in the Christian spiritual life than our identity. As with Peter, how we see ourselves directly impacts how we relate to Jesus and the Father. Ideally, we should see ourselves as God sees us, for only God sees us as we truly are. But our self-image is shaped by the myriad ways in which other people perceive us over the course of our lives.
We are influenced by the opinions of our families, coaches, teachers, colleagues, spouses and so forth. Every person sees us in a different light and, whether intentionally or not, projects their perceptions upon us. Those perceptions may be driven by compassion and love or by envy and spite. Were you praised for success, or did you incur others’ jealousy? Were your failures met with support or with ridicule and scorn?
One of the purest forms of prayer is simply to ask of God: “How do you see me? Please help me to see myself as you do.” Our identity should only be formed by God’s vision. As Peter saw, that vision will be both affirming and corrective; sometimes easy to accept and sometimes difficult but always offered in love.